I’ve been a breakfast cereal guy for as long as I can remember. It started with the puffed wheat, the crispy rice, the flakes of corn and the bran with the raisins. You know, stuff my mom bought for me. And I liked that stuff. Mostly because it’s all I knew.
Then I graduated to the really good garbage – Lucky Charms, Froot Loops, Alpha-Bits, etc…the stuff that rendered a lot of people my age diabetic.
Now that I’m grown, I buy any damn cereal I want. I’ll eat the sugary stuff for a while then I feel guilty so I switch to “healthier” “choices”. And now that I have kids, I try to give them the best of both worlds. They eat whatever I buy. And I’m sure it frustrates the fuck out of them too. Three (3) weeks of Honeycombs followed by GrapeNuts. Two (2) months of Frosted Flakes followed by Bran Flakes. That kind of shit.
“Jeez, dad. Why do you keep doing this to us? Just when we get a good thing going, you go cold fucking turkey on us. Bran Flakes? It’s abusive.” It’s how we do.
For now, let’s focus on this little guy right here. Kellogg’s Just Right!
For the sake of clarity, we’re only gonna focus on the Canadian version, and it’s continued existence here.
The Canadian version of Just Right is a boring blend of corn flakes, rice flakes and whole wheat flakes. That’s it.
It’s fortified with your usual vitamins and minerals. It’s moderate in terms of fiber.
Here’s an awesome 80s commercial for the slightly superior American version of Just Right (it’s got almonds, raisins and dates!) featuring a young Tori Amos and her creepy man friend:
So the question is: Who buys this? Who consumes it?
Apparently, it’s been around since the 80’s. So have I, and not once have we crossed paths in a domestic setting. I don’t recall ever seeing it in anyone’s shopping cart at the sto’. The shelves are consistently fully stocked. It’s rarely on sale. A quick survey with people I know produced no answers. They’ve never tried it, or seen it outside of its natural habitat.
So what’s the deal with this boring, strange cereal who’s mere existence, to me, is a mystery? I need your help, dear reader, to show me that there are indeed people we know who eat this, this….thing.
I need to know.