The Worst Songs Ever Recorded #28 “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You” – Bryan Adams

Full disclosure: Bryan Adams’ “Cuts Like A Knife” and “Reckless” are two of the best Canadian pop-rock records of all time. Classics.

That being said, Ol’ Bry seemed to be in a weird place in his life at this point in his career. I mean, wtf is this? And wouldn’t you know it…RJ “Mutt” Lange is partially responsible for this fuckery. You can instantly tell, ’cause it sounds like a goddamn Shania Twain song.

This is a prime example of how and why it is impossible to polish a turd. I hated this song, and its accompanying video, the second sound and sight hit my ears and eyes. The “zip-zoo” the guitar does right off the bat is like a warning signal. The sounds like Backstreet Boys attempting to write a later-era AC/DC song.

Bryan’s new “image” is, well, it’s something. The terribly dated 90s clothes (rayon or some shit), his “greasy” fucking hair and that “stubble”. He looks like an adult Macaulay Culkin’s stunt double. He looks like he’s been on X for the last few days. Look at him – he’s absolutely out of his mind.

Anyway, visuals aside, this song has really earned it’s spot on this list. The cheesy designer shout-outs, the way the instruments interact with each other to produce sounds, the “witty” title – it sounds like something Larry Dallas from “Three’s Company” would say to some floozie at the Regal Beagle.

And it’s really hard to reconcile the young man who sang “Summer of ’69” and “It’s Only Love” and the greasy niteclub rat-looking douche canoe who sings this song.

Big fail, Adams. Yuuuuuge fail.

image

He’s never been the same since.

Advertisements